Tuesday, March 18, 2014
What does a school counselor do??
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Saturday, March 16, 2013
Fight the New Drug
I decided to post this on my public blog because I'm happy for anyone to read this and welcome others to share it if you see the need.
I went to a meeting yesterday, and the main presenter was Clay Olsen from the Fight the New Drug non-profit organization. Their message is SO powerful, and I think it is a message that EVERYONE needs to hear and a topic that NEEDS to be talked about in the homes and in the schools.
Pornography.
I said it. The word that makes people cringe. The word that people avoid because it seems embarrassing, awkward, or disgusting. The topic people avoid because "obviously only gross people look at it or could possibly be addicted to it."
Wrong. Couldn't be more wrong.
The prophet and other general authorities of the Church talk about the dangers of pornography every six months during General Conference and in almost every month's Ensign. Does anyone believe this is a major topic of discussion because only one or two people in every ward have this issue? Because only the people without a sex life and want one are the ones to engage in it? Because only the weird person down the street must be the person with the addiction? Absolutely not. This is a plague affecting, I dare say, EVERY family in one way or another. And I think it is about time people educate themselves on the topic and bring it into the light so that there is understanding, knowledge, and support rather than judgment, ridicule, disgust, and assumptions.
This is not just an issue with morality. There is a science to pornography, and it becomes an addiction just like hard drugs. It affects people just like if they are using cocaine or heroin. It CHANGES THE BRAIN. The brain begins to change after only one exposure to pornography. And think about it for a minute - sexual things bring on sexual feelings, natural feelings that humans were created, by God, to enjoy in a healthy way. Many people are raised in an environment to believe, "Sex ix bad. Don't talk about boobs. Don't talk about sex. Don't think about sex or YOU are bad." They are likely curious at what the fuss is all about. When someone says, "Don't look at this giant, purple, dancing elephant in the room!" is it easy to turn your head the other way, or do you, out of total curiosity, want to know what that elephant looks like? What happens then when a nine-year-old is at a friends house (or school - hello, kids have access to cell phones and internet at their fingertips these days) and stumbles across something pornographic? What happens when it doesn't immediately bring feelings of disgust, but rather feelings that make them feel good? It's an internal conflict - something that is SO bad and SO gross makes THEM feel good (and clearly NO ONE ELSE because no one else talks about it, and when they do it's just about how awful it is), and therefore they are ashamed and embarrassed.
And thus an addiction may begin. I say may because obviously a person may not get addicted the first time they smoke a cigarette, but as they continue to expose themselves to the environment, the likelihood addiction will occur increases. The secretiveness and shame will only feed the addiction.
The presenters at this meeting provided the following items:
I went to a meeting yesterday, and the main presenter was Clay Olsen from the Fight the New Drug non-profit organization. Their message is SO powerful, and I think it is a message that EVERYONE needs to hear and a topic that NEEDS to be talked about in the homes and in the schools.
Pornography.
I said it. The word that makes people cringe. The word that people avoid because it seems embarrassing, awkward, or disgusting. The topic people avoid because "obviously only gross people look at it or could possibly be addicted to it."
Wrong. Couldn't be more wrong.
The prophet and other general authorities of the Church talk about the dangers of pornography every six months during General Conference and in almost every month's Ensign. Does anyone believe this is a major topic of discussion because only one or two people in every ward have this issue? Because only the people without a sex life and want one are the ones to engage in it? Because only the weird person down the street must be the person with the addiction? Absolutely not. This is a plague affecting, I dare say, EVERY family in one way or another. And I think it is about time people educate themselves on the topic and bring it into the light so that there is understanding, knowledge, and support rather than judgment, ridicule, disgust, and assumptions.
This is not just an issue with morality. There is a science to pornography, and it becomes an addiction just like hard drugs. It affects people just like if they are using cocaine or heroin. It CHANGES THE BRAIN. The brain begins to change after only one exposure to pornography. And think about it for a minute - sexual things bring on sexual feelings, natural feelings that humans were created, by God, to enjoy in a healthy way. Many people are raised in an environment to believe, "Sex ix bad. Don't talk about boobs. Don't talk about sex. Don't think about sex or YOU are bad." They are likely curious at what the fuss is all about. When someone says, "Don't look at this giant, purple, dancing elephant in the room!" is it easy to turn your head the other way, or do you, out of total curiosity, want to know what that elephant looks like? What happens then when a nine-year-old is at a friends house (or school - hello, kids have access to cell phones and internet at their fingertips these days) and stumbles across something pornographic? What happens when it doesn't immediately bring feelings of disgust, but rather feelings that make them feel good? It's an internal conflict - something that is SO bad and SO gross makes THEM feel good (and clearly NO ONE ELSE because no one else talks about it, and when they do it's just about how awful it is), and therefore they are ashamed and embarrassed.
And thus an addiction may begin. I say may because obviously a person may not get addicted the first time they smoke a cigarette, but as they continue to expose themselves to the environment, the likelihood addiction will occur increases. The secretiveness and shame will only feed the addiction.
The presenters at this meeting provided the following items:
- 56% of divorces involve one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.
- Utah has the HIGHEST percentage of paid subscriptions to online pornography than ANY OTHER STATE
- The largest group of internet porn viewers are between the ages of 12-17
- The average age of exposure to pornography is 11 years old
- 30% of addicts are women, but women often find pornography through literature rather than visual stimulants.
He shared a video of a guy who struggled with addiction to hard drugs and also to pornography. He talked about the behaviors of either addiction are THE SAME. Addiction symptoms and withdrawal are the same for any addiction. People start putting their life, loved ones, and relationships aside to feed their addiction because the brain cannot function without it. However, your body cannot just detox from a pornography addiction because the drug is in your mind, it's visual. You can't just change your environment either because pornography triggers are everywhere - most TV shows, movies, public events, and music refer to something pornographic.
It seems that it is socially unacceptable for a person to be in recovery for a pornography addiction, yet others are praised when tackling a drug or alcohol addiction. Doesn't that seem a little bit contradictory? And what makes it so sad, in my opinion, is that because of harsh judgements and others' misconceptions, addicts and their spouses will often keep this painful experience to themselves because they are afraid of what others will think or say about them.
I believe in the atonement of Jesus Christ. I believe that through Him, every person can be forgiven. He knows every struggle, pain, and sorrow that we feel. He knows how to heal our hearts. He also knows how to help those struggling with any type of addiction. I loved President Uchtdorf's talk in the April 2012 General Conference. He said, "When it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate. Though we cannot look into another’s heart, we assume that we know a bad motive or even a bad person when we see one. We make exceptions when it comes to our own bitterness because we feel that, in our case, we have all the information we need to hold someone else in contempt."
I think it's time to educate ourselves on pornography. It's time to talk about it. It's everywhere. It is a serious issue, and it starts at a very young age. I absolutely LOVE the campaign Fight the New Drug because it targets youth. It teaches them about the dangers of pornography from a scientific side, not just the religious ramifications. I would dare say that in most, not all, cases, this is not an issue that can only be resolved by reading your scriptures, going to church, and visiting with the bishop. It requires help much deeper than that. Just like drug addicts need therapy and rehab, the same is with pornography addiction. Of course, I strongly believe that it requires mental and spiritual recovery. It is possible to be forgiven and healed through Christ's atonement and his infinite love for His brothers and sisters. But I sincerely hope that people can see that this is a much larger problem than with spirituality. I know people very dear to me that are very spiritual people and struggle with this issue. Don't be naive. Don't let yourself think only "gross" people deal with this issue. Don't think you are the exception and that your family or children are the ones that will not be affected because you live righteous lives. Satan understands how powerful this addiction is and that it will ruin families, the most important part of God's eternal plan.
I encourage you to take a few minutes and visit www.fightthenewdrug.org. Although this movement targets teens, I think everyone can take away information to use personally with their families, especially if it means passing on the education. I have been SO moved by this organization, and I cannot wait to be a school counselor and use this information in my school. It's just as important to educate kids on as other drugs. Fight the New Drug is also coming out with a program that is FREE for teens, called Fortify, that will allow them to get help for pornography addiction without having to get parental consent or pay for a therapist.
Some of my favorites (click):
Let's fight the new drug!!!
Sunday, September 30, 2012
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Wallace Williams (not to be confused with William Wallace)
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Wednesday, August 8, 2012
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Family Pictures
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Disney on Ice & Birthdays
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